I’d raised my daughter Shahlah, who was now in her 20’s, and felt like I would enjoy raising another teenager. One day my social worker introduced me to a beautiful child who was 12 years old and had been in foster homes the majority of her life. While we were getting to know each other, I was introduced to her older brother Anthony. We hit it off and, together, we decided it would be great if I adopted him. He has asked that we not show a picture of him since he doesn’t want people to know that he is adopted, so I respect that. I can tell you that he is a handsome young man who looks like he could be my biological son, and he is doing very well in school and has a strong relationship with my daughter. As you can see, I am very proud of the fine young man he has become. I continue to keep my relationship with his sister as a loving adult in her life and we will see if at some point she too wants to be adopted. I feel so blessed to have met these children and learned quite a bit through the parenting classes. It’s also given me the opportunity to be a resource to other families who are considering adoption. My advice to you if you’re thinking of adoption is this – it's not easy but it is worth it!
I always wanted to be a parent, but I needed to find an agency that would approve an adoption with gay parents, which was not so easy at the time we began exploring adoption. Once we connected with our agency, the process of adopting our three sons (all brothers) ended up happening very quickly. From the day that we first saw their picture to the day they moved in, it was all of 22 days! We learned quickly to be open to the journey. While we initially envisioned two brothers under the age of three, our three sons, all over the age of three, turned out to be a perfect match for us. The first time we saw the boys, it was at a park with their social worker. Brian came running up to me and gave me a big hug and there were tears of joy. I knew at that moment that I had found my sons. I think people don’t realize how very much adoptive families are similar to other families in that you have the same ups and downs. However, as an adoptive family we have also learned how to build resilience in our children when they encounter others who think adoption is so “different.” One day our youngest came home and said he had been bullied at school. We realized it is important to prepare our kids with the language and responses they need in order to feel empowered. The next time another kid said to him, “You don’t have a Mom!” he responded with, “Of course I have a mom, we all do. It’s just that I live with my two Dads”. The teasing stopped after that.